Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
