But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
