I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
