my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
