I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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