She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
