I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
