I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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