we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize