You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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