During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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