I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
