she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
