I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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