The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
