Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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