You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
