she smelled like a LAN party
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
