She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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