So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
