I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
