hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
