She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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