i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize