at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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