He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
