Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize