i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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