But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
