Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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