dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
