I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
