kristin has been a bad kristin
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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