another moral hangover. fuck.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
