Sry I called you an 8
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
