He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
