just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
