just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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