i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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