Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
