You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
