And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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