could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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