and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
