All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
