OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
