Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
