I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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