Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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