Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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