Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
