Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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