He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
