The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
