oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I want a musical about memes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
