did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
