i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
