i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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