Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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