the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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