First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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