I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
