So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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