I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize