Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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