you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
