it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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