i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize