Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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