O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
